So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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