Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
