I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
