where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
