If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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