I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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