he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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