that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
