I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Someone shit on the floor
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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