I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
