Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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