I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
