omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
