Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
