don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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