Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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