if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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