I'm jealous of your bromance
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I had to cum in my sink.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
