i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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