If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize