Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
