you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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