seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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