sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
