...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
