i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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