he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The air was thick with penises
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
