My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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