i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
