Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
