maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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