My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
