Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
