toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
