Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
