Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I pour the whiskey from now on
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
