wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
