STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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