No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It's just like the Real World with babies
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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