Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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