i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
