my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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