i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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