I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just puked most of my soul out..
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