Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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