I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
