he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Say something about gay babies.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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