I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
