So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
3pm strippers are depressing
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
