There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
