so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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